Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Birthday baby? Me…:-)

It is March 30th, 2007….My birthday day…The day I came to this lovely..not so lovely…world..Years passed by so fast…Age too…equally wisdom…too…..ememhhhh!!! I could hear that ..It is ok…too hard to take , is it?....It is a special day….yes…

I hardly celebrate my birthday’s in my childhood…I mean the “cutting of birthday cake”….I hardly remember any event like this…except in films…..I remember those black and white days of the last century…early 80’s…My adorable amma stitches new skirts and blouse…home stitched ones…she is a fairly good home dress tailor, I believe….I don’t remember how perfect fit it was for me…It will be the usual annual exam days..So I get lost in studies and undergoing tension of writing the exams well…My amma takes me to the nearest temple…offers some archana on my nakshataram.......lunch …. a full fledged sadhya kind of menu….with semiya payasam/pal payasam…yummy..yummy…She will make me sit down on the mat on the floor with a vellakku lit and a banana leaf laid before me …with rice and a colourful spread of thorans, avyial, and sambar, rasam…and ending with a gulp of payasam…..burp..…unable to get up from the place with filled stomach..”Amma, vayaru pottuna polley thoon-nunu? ..madhi ammey” (Feels like my stomach is going to burst..enough amma)….She gives that beautiful satisfying smile….I realize now the meaning of "that" smile after becoming a mother myself…As moms, we make sure that our children eat full till their stomach tears apart…there is some more space here giving a small tickle in their small tummy….here also…..only then moms are satisfied…;-)…Those where the good old days……….very much in front of my eyes...photographed.....

After I joined work, the whole project celebrates my birthday…making wish before you blow the candle…..”birthday cake cutting”…claps …and birthday song…”HB to you, HB to you, HB dear S***, HB to you..”…Recently we went to my children’s class mates birthday….These small kids continued their unsystematically rythmatic song …”May the good Lord bless you…May the good lord bless you, dear ***, HB to you”…then balloons bursting behind you…Then cutting cake..then offering to your best dear collegue-cum-friend-next seat neighbour..Then some pals will give a nice facial with creams all over the face or only on the nose or cheeks…”..what not?......then snaps..cheezzzz….it goes on as slideshows in desktop screen saver for the next few days…A birthday card wished and signed by all team members…...Good memories…

I feel entirely different today…may be the thought that I’ve grown old or …these celebrations are only for kids…I was feeling out of my usual self…more towards me....It was embarrassing for me to stand in front of the whole crowd of team members..many pairs of eyes eagerly waiting for their share of cake.. …birthday cake cutting ceremony…May be becoz I’m the object in focus….whatever…Let me get this over…..the usual process…this time I’m happy in a way that I’ve my lovely ladies crowd around me….my stress busters....big mouth ladies ..my lunch team where we feel that we are that “seethe saatha”.. humans and not machines/ programs with the if..else..endif ..…..

It is of course an unforgettable page which I save in a book titled “My life”…

Last but not the least, my best birthday gift for the day is lots ..tonnes of kiss on both my cheeks by my children….The moment my dear hubby informed them on opening their sleepy eyes in the morning..”Vava, you know today is amma’s birthday…and he leaned towards me and gave a sweet kiss on my cheeks..My eyes filled with a film of moisture…a kiss from my hubby in front of the kids…I was blushing…to cover it up..I gave a pose to my daughter that I’m embarrassed to receive a kiss on my cheeks…with a tip of my nail bitting between my teeth...She immediately joining the race of hugging me with both hands..and pouring kisses..umma umma..My son followed his turn……. I am totally flattered.......

Last, my priceless gift is my hubby’s kiss on my cheeks…………which I rarely get these days……
Oops!!!! Hahahahahahha ;-)

No Homework !!!!!!!!!!!

As My children have reached the last days of academic year, they don’t bring homework these days. Otherwise it would be like at live Tom & Jerry Show time ..My children and me…and homework…Sometimes homework would be a page of alphabets..small letter or a page of numbers…..Sometimes it comes at a stretch..2 to 3 pages… I quit!!!..It’s my job to make my children do their homework…My daughter as usual, girls..they eat, sleep, drink HW…she finishes as soon she opens the notebook…most of the days…There are unusual days for her too…My Son, oh! My son, oh! , My dear son…The moment I say he has some homework..He says “I will do it tomorrow…tomorrow”…with the deep grin on his face…No dear, then what happens when you get HW tomorrow also…I wonder what goes on his mind..some decisions, I believe..He reluctantly accepts to do his homework..the first 5 mintues will be like inertia of rest….He holds the pencil on the first line first letter but still keep on that blue line of the four line’s notebook…..Me in my mind, move baby…move your fingers….My soft voice will turn into a howling bark after that 5 mintues…Then it is non-stop horror movie of lots of sounds..”Write….”…He sobbing , or biting his pencil…or playing with eraser or goes on endlessly sharpening his pencil all by himself..till I raise my vocal chord….Sometimes my shouting will sound like some kind of slokas…Non stop shouting for 2-3 minutes…My son’s eyes will be thrusted only on my face…Something within me says “STOP it, STOP it now”….Then there will be complete silence “Oru mazha paidu kazhija polley”..(After a sudden downpour)…My son will finish off his homework within 5 minutes without any disturbance…In the mean time, my dear hubby invades the remote to his fully ownership to watch his favorite news channels during this stint in the living room…When my voice reverberates in the next room, he comes in to check me what I should be doing? If compassion is on me, fine…Otherwise, I’ll get mouthful from him…”Afterall, they are kids..What happened to your patience?”..The whole area knows that you are helping the kids with their HW…blah blah…Excuse me? Now who is shouting?...not me…what happened to the children?..My Son would have finished and would have confisticated the remote to see his favourite cartoon films in POGO channel..My hubby will be howling at them…”Give me the remote….I want to see news!!!...Give me…I’m going to switch off the TV..Ask the cable TV people to disconnect our connection….” Excuse me, who is howling now?......

Monday, March 30, 2009

Ugadhi ….turned to be Black Friday!!!!

It’s 27th March 2009...Another “Ugadhi” for the Kannadiga’s and Andhrites…Many of my colleagues have taken off…My children also had their holiday……My daughter was not in a good mood this morning…She was asking her Acchan “you are going to office ?? No holiday…Amma also has office….No holiday? ..” She barged into me whilst I’m off to take my bath..….”Amma, you don’t go to office today…Be at home…”…I tried to pacify her…and promising that I’ll be back home early around 5’0 clock…She is not happy with my discourse…..I did not show my tear filled eyes to her closing the bathroom door behind her….What a cruelty that I’m offering to my kids!!!

The day passed by in snail pace with most of my friends on leave to celebrate their ugadhi…a festival of colors and different tastes..I remember once long back I’ve tasted this specific mixture made of Neem Buds/Flowers for bitterness, Raw Mango for tang, Tamarind Juice for sourness, Green Chilli / Pepper for hottness , Jaggery for sweetness, Pinch of Salt for saltiness..popularly called "Ugadi Pachhadi" in Telugu and "Bevu-Bella" in Kannada. This mixture comprising of all six tastes symbolizes the fact that life is a mixture of different experiences (sadness, happiness, anger, fear, disgust, surprise) which should be accepted together and with equability….Something my piece of brain and my interpretation….May it is same meaning or slightly different…pardon me , if I’m wrong…..

One of my next cubicle pal (Kannadiga) is getting transferred from Chennai to Bangalore, her hometown…meaning her parents have settled down there…She is happy gal finally her long endless pursuit of joining back with her parents have fulfilled her dreams ..Her ugadhi turned out to be the most happy new year she is going to relish her entire life, of course my perspective… She hates Chennai…She had a memorable adieu party lasting for 1 hour, I believe..the whole project group got locked themselves in a meeting room running slideshows after slideshows each of the team member saying their farewell speech..So lovely…We, a bunch of onlookers, were busy peeping into the room infreqently through the mirrored window…happily enjoying a matinee show with Lata Mageshgar’s song running as background score with slideshows in the front…They hardly realized that the people sitting outside the meeting room could hear and shedding couple of tear drops for the poor gal…sigh....

I didn’t have the mood to sit in office for long time because my daughter’s conversation was very much lingering on my ears word by word…reverberating all over my head…well beyond the sound of microphone over my head…My hubby reached my office to pick me up…He opened the conversation ..”u know this person….S…., the guy from Pune..who is my ex-colleague at ….”..Yeah…”His son died today morning…”..WHAT????.....”seems like he was having pain in the hip area…diagnosed as appendicitis by doc..but being a small boy…they thought they can cure by medicines…”…My hubby continued with tears trickling his eyes…..He was driving too…Nothing really reached into my head….It seems my hubby has called this person yesterday while he was in Cochin while waiting for this train back to Chennai……He picked his mobile after several calls and he was saying that he is in the hospital with his son…and …he wished my hubby “Happy Ugadi”..and he says his ugadi is not going to be good..as his son is suffering from this pain and his daughter is just out of chicken pox last week…sounded so depressed…and he has advised my hubby to spend a lot of time with kids……That saddened both of us to great extent…The rest of the way, we were silient …didn’t realize that we ‘ve reached home…..to see our children playing in the parking lot….My son and daughter were so enthralled to open the gate for us…..I was standing with my handbag and lunch box looking at my children with a film of tear on my eyes…I hugged and kissed both of them with all my energy…and I felt sick deep within me……………………..

Whenever I feel sad, or face situations which are too much to handle by myself..I go to temple….My hubby also felt the same I believe…He wanted the children to take them for their usual cycle ride….I invaded them to the nearest temple…Swamy Ayappan and Guruvayoorrappan temple….We were right on time…..The deeparathana was about to start…

I’ve so many nagging random thought process running all over my brain and in fact questioning the great LORD right in front of me..…Why this is happening to us? ..u lord, we cry and cry to bless us with healthy children…one fine day, we are blessed with our lovely ones..and another day, you just like that take those loved ones from us. Is this how you treat your children???? We parents convert our blood and soul to bring up our children…and due to the wrong diagnosis of some doc, we have to loose our loved ones…..why this? Are you lord, playing with us?...Yeah, the Almighty, you are the creator, and the destroyer….You are all…..

After the deeparathana, my heart tend to become peaceful……The temple is being recently renovated with new flooring of marbonite…my son says “Entha idu potti irukunnathu? Pottambalama aiyi..? “…(why is the floor broken? Bad temple it has become)….We had a glass of pal payasam…tasted like ambrosia……we reached home to have our dinner….watched TV …and off to sleep…..

Friday, March 27, 2009

Already a month over!!!!

Hey ladies and gentlemen!!!
I didn’t realize that I’ve completed my first month of blogging………Posted almost 16 post…Many comments for my blogs….Not bad…”Self pat on my back is the best self motivator”…it keeps me going…..
Looking forward for your continued support…..
Take care and keep smiling,
Sumy Sunil

Enna olakkam da sami!!!!

Life is always full of surprises…One never know what is in store for us the next minute….it could be happy moments, sad, …sometimes nothing happens…it turns out to be bizarre…sometimes ordinary……whatever happens, we continue to live…and flow along with the tide or against the tide…..Same way, we interpret a situation differently. …Different person interprets the same situation in their own way…it will sprout as a surprise for many of us that there are n number of ways of interpreting the same situation…each human being customizing the same situation in their own perspective….

Today my dear hubby came back from his official trip from Cochin (Monday night till Friday morning)…At the start of my marriage life, this separation of 2-3 days or maximum a week was like hell for me…Loneliness kills me..OMG, Good that I was working then..so most of my time of the day I’m busy at work which takes off my strain of loneliness...My hubby being a marketing professional could not help avoiding this stint of travel out of station. I curse myself that I should not have married a marketing guy…After my motherhood and having taken a break from my work, my focus and energy turned towards children, this separation becomes a pain only when my children feel ill and usually it happens that whenever he is out of station, my children fell ill and I’ve to run between hospital and home all by myself to fix the situation….Years pass by, still my dear hubby travels a lot….professional hazard…now I’ve my children who have joined the foray of experiencing the absence of Acchan…My son misses the “Male element” of the family…Before it could reach the second day, my son starts “when will Acchan come back?...”….Now I kind of turned stone to the whole situation ;-)…Having got back to workforce very recently, it is pretty tough for my children to handle the absence of both parents….Poor souls!!! …..My hubby was quickly catching up with me about the whereabouts last 2 days about children, me, work…..I was not in the mood. Anyways, his absence , even if I put up that strong personality in front of him…deep within me, I ‘m still a dependent soul …;-)….I was lying to him that I have taken his absence very boldly. He was appreciating me that “good for you. That shows sign of self-independence…blah blah..”…He goes... “When a glass is filled with water half way, the way you look at it matters the most”..”The glass is half filled”..”The glass is half empty”…blah blah…”Enna ollakamada ethu”……I’m here standing half depressed and here goes my man with his usual garrulous delivery.

During the lunch hour with “Mahila sangam” at office, we were discussing about our weekend activities…One of my friend who is living alone in Chennai in a PG, living away from her husband (Bangalore) was not in the mood..She gave a big not so happy face…What happened? My hubby didn’t come this weekend..It was boring…Then quickly she added “I’m suffering from depression. I’m going to quit my job. This separation from my husband had caused me depression..No I’m going back to Bangalore..My hubby is asking me to wait for 3-4 months..He does not want me to resign!!!”… Her husband’s effort of pacifying her has gone futile and finally he says “you come back…What to do?..I’ve to resign to my fate”…. 4 pairs of eyes were directed towards her direction….We were trying to console and persuading her to think positively…Poor soul!!! Another friend continues “Evangalukku ipadina, for me..”…This friend’s hubby is in Singapore working…this sweet lady in Chennai..I wonder why?...”My in-laws are saying me to resign and go and live with my hubby in Singapore..I’m only not resigning…What will I do there when I go there?....I’ve to think about financial stability..We have loans also to pay..If I resign, what can be done?...My in-laws are saying even if you don’t have enough money to survive in Singapore , we will send from here”…..WaaW!!! Have you heard such a smoothing words from in-laws???...AAhh!!! Let's not deviate from the topic...So other second friend goes saying “…”Enna ollakamada ethu”……nimadhiyavey vazha vidamathingala……(Will they not allow me to live peacefully!!!!). The other 4 pairs of eyes were directed towards her direction….;-)

Sitting idly for long hours at desk, I thought of having some hot coffee at Pantry....I heard a big howling voice calling my name out…With enquiring eyes, I turned and searched the whole crowded pantry..how dare can someone call out my name so loudly? Who is this? Oh! My friend who sits in the other floor of the building…”Enna inga…(why here?)”…She is also without work ;-) …same boat…I took my coffee and made myself comfortable to spend the next few minutes luxioursly..semma katthi..(Blade…)…She introduced me to another friend of hers…Gr8…She is in a different project…I was enquiring the work situation in their project….She says “lots of work..I wish to be like you ..sitting without work…wanna to take off for a week..it is hectic..working 12 hours a day..7 days a week…development work…”..Do they require any resources? “Yep”…I was almost over her..”Then take me into your project..”…She continues ..” adding new resources is a hectic process and approvals needed…so not possible at present”… ”Enna ollakamada ethu…”… My friend and me were like scratching our head …”We have no work..they have lots of work…and requirement is there..but they can’t take us”….

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Not my piece of cake!!!!

Having reached the end of the academic year, my children’s class teacher had sent a note in their calendar last week stating that they need to come in full uniform as they are going to have a photo session..Gr8. My hats off to the photographer who is bestowed with this task. It takes me lot of time and patience to take a picture of my kids sitting in one place asking them to smile and say cheese!!! When my son is ready, my daughter will turn towards him or in some other direction..or will be admiring her dress..Or when my daughter is ready with her beautiful smile, my son will not be in the mood, he will run away from the place or he will become so conscious that he will cover his face or make faces at me…Ahhhh!!! ..Finally the photo came yesterday...I was earnestly looking out for my daughter and son in the group photo. My daughter is fine, she was in her usual smile ..a big cheese…and what about my son…Ah! My son was also having a big cheese smile but he was looking at his neighbour to check whether he is wearing his cheese smile on his face…Side view photo of my son!!! Gr8..Better than nothing……

I was curious to know their names..As usual my daughter with her big mouth went on “this is Karen, Hamsa….”..I wanted my son to say couple of names… He goes “L Gautham, Akash…”..I suddenly realized he says only guy’s name…I interrupted..”What is this girls name?..” There he goes..”I don’t know any girls name..Girls are not my friends…I will not talk to them… I talk to only boys…Akash, SomGovind, Rohit.” with a frown on his face….My daughter adds “He will not talk to girls…No girl friends for Monu..I’ll talk to all boys”..Ahh!!! … May be he got sick and tired and frustrated with his experiences with his sister and mother ;-)…Girls are too hard to handle…”Girls are bad..”..”Boys are good..” He goes on …I correct him “No No..Girls are good..Boys bad…G for good B for bad”..He gets irritated…He gets the company of my hubby “Look Accha..Boys are good..Girls are bad…”…My hubby will join him…”yeah, yeah…”……

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Tough job of all times!!!

Any guess, what is the toughest time in your life??? Appearing for 12th exam…waiting for the entrance exam results or whatever…Waiting for your lover for 2 hours standing under the sun at 12 0’clock in Chennai under the same leafless tree …waiting for the labour pain to get over…Nope….Remaining jobless for months together..all the more, with collegues around you working endless hours a day with “in a meeting” status in their communicator!!! Worse still, “busy” status…and makes me feel like banging my head if anywhere I see “Do not disturb” ..a red ball with a minus…oh! It drives me crazy sitting at my desk doing nothing fruitful.

I start pollambifying the moment I entered the car with my driver-cum-partner cum hubby..”all in all allagu raja”. As usual, I peep in to say “Hi” to my 2 doors away neighbour…”Sundaravinayagar” temple…”Appa…vinayaga…kannai therandu paar appa…ur karunai megavum avasiyamaga irrukkirathu…next..palaniappa, muruga, kanda, vellava,..un kadaikan paarvai inda bakthien mel en innu vezhavillai…vinayaka, unnakku naan tharugiren njyana pazham..oru project-ill ennai serthividu…appa… …”…My husband as usual look at me with his eyes protruding out… touching the spectacles to hear my sorpozhivu…”Heights of joblessness”….He drops me at office saying “Romba pollambatha” ….Appa, Kanda. Karunai kadaley, enna kappathu..ennai thaniya vittu vittu pokiraru en veetukar…

My office hours starts with checking my inbox to see any work related mails..No sign of it at all!!! Then some forward mails, good morning mails (oh! Not so good day as it is going to be same pretty usual routine…)..So my day starts with forwarding mails to 5 others dumping their mailbox with wishes and making them aware that I’m in for the day…gr8. what next? Off to pantry to fill the water bottles with your colleagues on the same boat, “birds of same feather flock together”..followed by polambifying, pulling each other, over a cup of hot cappuccino...the usual “any updates about our project? Is it coming? Hey, u know this guy is released…last date…”….”why release? Any way no projects outside”…..goes on endless until one person has to remind that we have gone beyond our limit/ he or she has to go for a meeting or has some project task..Oh!!! There is something like that is it?? Oh, work?..We depart that we will continue in the lunch with more spice…

Then I go back to my desk..checking once again my inbox , in case, if some soul has replied or have forwarded any mails. Sometimes yes, otherwise no. Then make calls to some friends and chit chat with them ranging topics from weather to traffic to release..”Enna ma…appadiya…”..It goes on and on and clink. Then browse through net…googling ...
Then one fine day or the doom day, I was introduced to the world of blogs by my friend on the same boat!! Hooray…Got captivated and engrossed into the blogs…Started writing some random thoughts which I have, had and would be stumbling upon…played with templates….the look and feel..gr8!!!...added pictures..Waaw!!! Haven’t done this before ..So totally fascinated..Browsed other blogs to get some idea..in turn, replied to couple of posts..thinking that they will visit mine..and of course, they did…In turn, got motivated to write more…..Emailed my hubby and brother to check out this..YO-YO…They came back saying “Busy!!!..check out later”..and next statement “Enna, vella illaiya…”…My sweetheart hubby , not to deceive my over enthusiasm , browsed through ….overall scan “ok”, and came back saying “Ennaya…vetti ya”…..sometimes struck by “heights of eagerness” to see some comments on my posts…sent emails, call him over the mobile simultaneously, and forcing him to post some comments….

Earnestly thinking to make use of time effectively and efficiently to develop the hidden or existing talents, google on some topics on Embroidery, receipes…Gr8!!! Enjoy the colorful platter of some posting…In between other friends on the same boat, will ping messages with some technical questions?..oh! reply them in between if I know otherwise, ask some to google it and find it for themselves. Sorry state of affair, some of the contractors are asked to leave the company and they are in their notice periods…Ah!!! Distractions ;-)..back to surfing…with headphones on, I enjoy some tamil songs shared from another system..gr8!!! I will be in my own world…Ring, Ring, Ring!!! “Hi…***, here..how can I help you?”…My boss “ How are you?..Come to my desk”..Cling…oh! What happened suddenly?...Did someone informed him that I’m spending whole office time in blogging!!! Gr8..Gaining strength, I make my way to this desk..My boss welcomes with a big U smile..OK…”***, I need a favor..” “Emh..what?”….”Get me the team details in xlsheet..by COB”…OK..Big nod with a big smile…Vetti vella….Send email to the entire team to give me details in particular format….ping messages in communicator…asking reasons “why? Details now?”..” who will analyze the cause and effect of why collecting details for what purpose? …..insecure feeling, u know..hey, just send me the details…”…”I’m unable to update my details in xlsheet..someone is holding”..” hey baby!!! Wait for your turn patiently”…”People can’t wait patiently for their turn”..…Sorry for the disturbance!! Back to my world of blog…..Then another message “Lunch polama!!!..Feeling hungry”…Oh! It is 12:45..How time flies?...Lock the terminal, then off with lunch box…Tasting other’s food, exchanging tiffin box, then goes the big mouths..you know what? This girl..that guy…Did you see the corporate mail about cost cutting measures?...blah..blah…”How was the weekend?...One of my friend goes on that weekend was boring as her husband didn’t visit her from Bangalore…Of late, she is depressed…poor soul!!! We ladies try hard to make her come back to reality…make her smile and divert her mental tension” Another friend of mine is happy that she has tried some new recipe..New entrant to kitchen…hardly know the difference between mustard seed and pepper seed ;-)…My story about my children goes non-stop….another friend’s romantic shopping spree with her hubby..OK!!! Time to wind up our big mouths ..as many will be eagerly waiting for our lunch table to be released.. ….
Back to desk, first check inbox, in case if there are any other interesting new mails…then continue with my blog….in the pretext of finding antonyms.. get to learn couple of new words synonyms…gr8..one way of improving the vocabulary……or browse other blog...In between, checking the xlsheet whether the team members have updated their details…if not, ping them individually and ask them to update…reminder….Lock the terminal…walk up and down the aisle…say hi to others…stop by to enquire about their project status…why, what, when?..any updates ….pull the chair, make yourself comfortable..blah..blah..for 10 minutes….then off to restroom and back at my same old desk…Clean the desk….tear all the unnecessary papers which was lying for long time untouched…or preserve it in some box files …punch and filling…drawing attention of our neighbours..ah! working….call up my hubby to enquire how was the food for lunch? Sometime positive remark..otherwise why have you kept so much food for me?..not able to eat..have left ½ of it….too much of masala…why always raddish curry?....blah blah…cling….
What to do next? Change the template of the blog (hardly a week old)…give a new look…then sudden realization, I’ve not enquired about kids at home…My daughter starts “amma…I want this munch…Monu is watching TV….he didn’t eat anything for lunch..i had..blah blah…”..Me from this side....”OK, give the phone to Monu..”..”MONU..MONU…amma wants to talk to you…”…I’ve to keep my receiver at a distance..”..My son “What amma?...”..I go with my usual questions..”Had your lunch? What you had?...” Half way through before I could finish, he goes “Madi Madi..amma” (Enough, enough)… He keeps the phone down and leave...There will no voice from other side…Me “hello, hello..”…Cling…..

Message ..“inviting for a conversation”...ping message…”T polama”…OK..off to pantry ..another 20 mintues of luxury of joblessness…orey blade!!!
Back to my seat…Check back the xlsheet whether it is updated finally…Gr8!!! Attach the xlsheet and send it to Boss…Comes back an email with a “Thank you” note.. what next???….. Change the music to Malayalam or Hindi…It goes on and on….

Hey …check the clock … time to leave …call up my man, Mr hubby!!! ..is he free to pick me up from the office?..or should I walk to the main road where he will pick me up…”No problem..I’ll come and pick you from office”…Appa Gr8!!! Some more time for surfing…..After 10 mintures or so…. shut down … dont forget to switch off monitor (save power) …say bye to all…neighbour…collegues on the way....don’t wait for their reply..…”Off to home!?!?!?!”.. … come out of office and enjoy the fresh air + hot air too..…At the end … last but not least …who is not busy? Me too….blogging…Blogs are written to read (no one except near and dear ones..) … to kill time … to make me refresh my thought process ….Blogs are written to comment on it ..to appreciate…to pull down….to recomment on the comments…gr8….too much to handle….So read my posts and dont forget to leave a comment on them …It will motivate me to write more or stop it…hahaha…bye…hahaha

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Psychological breakdown

My son (Monu) woke up crying with a inverted u shaped mouth L with eyes still closed. Rushed from the kitchen to find the cause. He goes on “Akash (classmate) is not giving me tiger to play. I want a full tiger dress with tail and a mask with tiger face”. [Flash back …Recently 2 months back, my children (twins) had fancy dress competition in their school. I want my children to participate as participation is more important than getting a prize. I prepared both of them to say couple of sentences. My daughter (Vava) as “Sunflower” and my son as “Mango”. I had full confidence in my daughter that she will do better than my son, who is like a man of few words. He stops with first sentence “I’m a mango”. Then he says “No, I’ll not say anymore”. All my efforts to make him memorize was hanging in the air. Definitely he will do, I pacified myself. The D day came and both my husband and me joined the other excited parents to watch our lovely ones perform. I was sitting there tensed up as if I’m going to perform. My hubby seeing my tension on my face “will my son open his mouth?”, just pressed my hand and gave a “take it easy” nod. My daughter’s turn came up. To my disillusionment, she stood in front of the panel of judges crying loudly. “Stage fear”. Even her class teacher was disappointment with her performance. She says “u , the leader of the class and you cry like this..”. I quickly pacified her and took our seat. We were eagerly looking forward for Monu’s performance. What is in store for us? Surprises, let’s face it. Waw! What a Style. Monu was shouting his sentences with expression. “I’m a mango. I’m a fruit. I’m yellow in color. Are you hungry? Come and eat me”. Both of us were spellbound. His class teacher also was speechless. She comments “Boys do well at the right time. I thought your daughter will perform well. See.”. The judges were asking him questions about his cutout of mango tied in his body. He goes once again “I’m mango”. My eyes filled with happy tears. After the competition, my hubby took us all to Baskin Robbins and offered them their favorite ice creams. Their classmate, Akash, had come with tiger costume and from that day onwards, Monu keeps on asking for this tiger dress.].

I promised him to get his favorite dress once Acchan (Father) comes back from Cochin (official trip). He was not satisfied with my response. He had been restless for quiet a few days, especially, when I started going back to work after my 5 years of family break. I was with him 24*7, 365 days all these 5 years and he could not digest the fact that I’m off to office from morning till evening leaving him. I believe he feels a void without me around. When I’m back also, I was busy with my own household work. To top it, I get really worked up and shout at him when he does not do his homework as a typical mother who wants their children to be perfect in doing tasks. It takes ½ hr for him to complete a page of HW. For each letter, I have to be behind him saying “write the next letter…next”. Kids are always happy and we make them unhappy by giving them instructions to write homework, eat your food. We adults are always unhappy, unsatisfied souls keeping long face or lost in thoughts about things that happened long time back or that are going to happen in the future, without enjoying or living the present moment. Ah! I wonder why at all we grow up or rather the “kid” in us get lost someway down the line as years pass by.

That night, Monu started retaliating back to me emotionally. He continued to cry for nothing. For each and every thing, he was making a fuss. He didn’t sleep the whole night till 1:00 a.m. His eyes were closed but continued to cry intermittently. Thinking that it could be ear pain, or stomach pain, I kept on asking him whether he is experiencing some pain. First he said pain in the ears, then after sometime he said he has stomach pain. My MIL and me were confused to predict what was going on with him. With no male folks at home, I was really worried too. Somehow, we were able to catch up some sleep for few hours. Once again around 5:00am in the morning, he started crying once again. MIL advised me to take him to the hospital. I called up our dedicated auto driver, well known to us to take us to the nearest hospital. After making Monu to sit comfortably inside the auto, I sat holding my handbag. Because of heavy fog early in the morning, the auto driver had pulled down the side screen too. I kept my handbag to one end of the seat and held my son very closely and tightly. Many thoughts were passing by in my mind and was looking at my son’s face. why is he crying like this? I held him very closely. The auto driver reached the gates of the hospital. I asked him to park his vehicle and wait for me. I helped Monu to get out of the auto and was stretching my hand to pick my handbag. It is not there in the seat!!! I searched the dickey also. It’s not to be seen!!! It would have fell down on the road while we were coming. I never realized that it has fallen from the seat and on to the road. I was really engrossed with my son’s matter. I told the auto driver to trace back the way we came. This is like adding to the fire. My purse is always loaded with money. I’ve 5-6 sub pockets and in each I’ll keep minimum Rs. 500 . It is like “Just in case, if I need some more money”. Backup of backup. I always keep my things safely. I’ve not lost anything consciously. My mind was racing. What are the other things that I’ve kept in my purse? My office ID, office keys, then debit card, then what else.OMG! my secure-id, mobile. Little did I realized that I reached home. My MIL and cook came running enquiring why we have returned immediately? I narrated quickly, took some money whatever is available at home and rushed back to hospital. I was praying that some good person should find my handbag and would return it to me. The auto driver was going on advising me that I need to be careful with things. Was very much concerned about the things in my bag. He was narrating his story how he lost his mobile. Blah blah. In the mean time, seeing this commotion my son stopped his crying, sobbing and seriously was asking me question, what happened amma? About handbag? Where is it now?. My focus turned to him. Somehow managed to reach the hospital with my sense back to reality. Ran to consult the causality doctor. I quickly gave him my short pathetic story and my son’s non-stop cry. He asked me to give some time for them. I left them alone. I quickly came to the reception and requested the receptionist to find me some toll free number of the bank so that I can freeze my debit card. Looks like nobody had withdrawn the money. Half relieved. In the mean time, the doctor met me at the reception and said “Your son is medically fine. He is hurt, I believe”. It was like a blow on my head. We walked towards the causality room. My son was asked to lie down and 3-4 nurses surrounded. Everyone was asking him questions. What is your name?.. He was not responding to them. His face bloomed when he saw me and said “we will go home amma”. I nodded. The doctor continued to ask some basic questions “which school? Which class?”. No response. “So what is the problem, Monu? Fever, cold “. It was like tip of the iceberg for him to handle so many questions. He broke down and said “My amma didn’t hug me”. It was like a slap on my face. I hugged him with full energy immediately with tears pouring like waterfall from my eyes. The doctor and nurses smiled and left giving some space to us. They, in fact, covered the whole bed with the full screen all around. I hugged him and kissed him all over. In the background, I could hear the doctor discussing to nurses “ See how the child has opened up his heart…Psychologically affected..” The doctor and myself had a little tête-à-tête for 10 minutes. He was taking me through children’s psychology.

On the way back home in the auto, my thoughts were running wild…this that…Have I made a wrong decision in going back to work leaving my children? My children got hurt by my absence at home. Each word of the doctor was echoing in my head…In between the auto driver’s advise…answering him too…and answering my son’s inquisitive question about my handbag….The auto driver was more concerned about the amount of money that I had kept in my purse…I was not even thinking about it..Money lost can be earned later…but my son’s state of mind, what should I do to make him turn around positively?…other office property (Key and secure-id) and mobile. It was just a furlong from home right in front of Sundaravinayakar Temple, the auto stopped abruptly. The driver was kick starting it but to no purpose. I got down and paid and thanked him profusely for helping us in timely and in odd hours. I’ve heard people saying that ““Adukkadukka kastam varum”.. “difficult times happens in succession and comes in big bang”…“Kasta kalam” and that was my day. I walked back home with my son. My MIL and cook was curious to find out my son’s diagnosis. I don’t know what to reply. I was feeling ashamed of myself.

I called up my hubby in Cochin to narrate this story. He was, in fact, still in his bed sleeping. He listened to all this half asleep. He started with his philosophical advise… my off late ignoring my son, not spending time with him, for my carelessness of losing the handbag… “Being a mother of 2 kids, you should be like ….” Then continued with futher actions to be taken for locking the mobile. I felt like a loser, a total failure.

Monu felt asleep in the sofa. My daughter started with her own set of questionnaires. What happened ? when? Why? I was totally drained out.

Around 8:00 clock, some cab driver called my hubby’s mobile and informed that he is having my bag!!! Oh! A good soul had found it. Later he called me at home number (he got these number from my mobile) and informed that he can’t guarantee that everything in the bag would be returned as he had to fight with couple of youngsters who had found the bag in the middle of the road and he has to negotiate with them to get it bag. OK!!! No problem. Whatever is remaining, please return it. He came around 10:00 0’clock in his cab. He returned the bag with the mobile, id card, all office related items, debit card, no wonder my purse with no money. Monu’s milk bottle and biscuits were missing. The cab driver says that those guys had drunk the milk and thrown the bottle away. Felt pity with those homeless youth.

Ah! It was one of those days……

Sunday, March 15, 2009

My Daughter – A girl of strength

Females are born with inbuilt framework of tolerance and strength to face this world of inequality with magnanimity. They are born packed with patience, sense of caring, affection, compassion for others etc etc full of positivism. No wonder my daughter is not less than what I’ve described here. She makes my spirit high with the kind of power she has in her. I bow my head to the whole women folks in this world without whom this world would have been a graveyard.

On the other day, her cold aggravated so much that her ears started paining. She was knowledgeable enough to say that she wants to go to the doctor. She is hardly a 5 year old girl. I grabbed my pocket bag and we were off to the hospital. My hubby had gone out for a college reunion. I was holding her hand and we were like almost running. I could not able to see her face covered with tears rolling down her glowing eyes. The clinic was hardly 5 minutes walk from my home. We crossed the main road. We got token no 14. We took a seat and asked my daughter to take her seat. She was tightly holding on to me. She could not bear the pain any longer. She was almost rolling over my lap with her hand pressed against the ears. She tried to focus her attention to something else..looking at other children..the bus plying on the main road. She tried to control her tears. She is rubbing off with her hand. She was handling the whole situation very diligently. I was silently admiring her strength – a women’s strength.

I decided to act soon. I requested the next patient to go in, to allow my daughter to consult the doctor as next patient. She denied giving her own reasons. Fine. I continued my request to the “The next” patient . That kind hearted person was observing my daughter’s pathetic situation and he agreed immediately. Oh! I thanked him. My daughter, in the mean time, started crying. I pacified, kissed her and massaged her back. It was almost 20 mintues after that we finally entered the doctor’s room.

She cried out loudly on seeing the doctor. The pain must have reached heights. The doctor quickly diagnosed and prescribed some medicines. On the way back home, we were running hand in hand, crossing the main road once again, reached the nearest pharmacy and requested the pharmacist to give the pain killer syrup and ear drop immediately. He goes saying that ear drop is out of stock. Oh no! I was devasted. Where will I go with her at 8:00 pm to catch hold of this ear drop? Seeing my plight, the assistant of pharmacist was kind enough to extend his help in getting it from the nearest store. In the mean time, I offered my daughter the available medicines. Within few minutes, the assistant came back with the ear drop. I poured 3 drops on to her ears. Paid the bill and once again, I carried her on my hip with her head resting on my shoulder and started walking faster.

Reached home, persuaded her to eat at least some sweat bun, but she is no mood. My son came enquiring about her ear pain. My daughter by then fell asleep. I was sitting beside her admiring her inner beauty feeling proud of her.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Run, Run, Run..........

My body simply refuses to move to my needs. The medicines for my tonsillitis is so sedative that my eyes refuses to open even at 6:15am in the morning. Usually my cook reports around 6’0 clock in the morning. Today I was wondering what happened to her? I opened the front door, picked up the milk bag and newspaper. I removed yesterday’s milk packets from the refrigerator and put it in water to remove the chillness and replaced with today’s.

Then went off to do my brushing. Now it is close to 6:45. No sign of my cook!!! Oh, no! My brain refuses to function too. I wondered what should I prepare for breakfast and lunch. I scanned the refrigerator. There was a big vessel full of Idli maavu (Dough)..Great..I can prepare some dosa and coconut chutney. I started boiling rice for rice. I soaked 2 glasses of rice. Next is some Vegetable curry. I decided to cook some quick biriyani type of vegetable mix so that I can mix it with plain rice.

You can try this:

1. onions -2 chopped
2. ripe tomatoes – 2 chopped
3. ginger - small piece – 1 tsp (chopped and smashed)
4. garlic - 4 pieces (chopped and smashed)
5. beans – 15 ( cut it into 1 inche size pieces)
6 Carrot – 1 (chopped into small strips)
7. Coriander leaves – 2 stem (finely chopped for garnishing)

In the kadai, start with seasoning – pour 1 tspn oil. Add little sombhu and leave it to burst. Then add 2 cloves, 1 bayleaf (not mandatory). After it is kind of fried, add garlic and ginger and fry it till that raw smell is gone. Keep the burner in sim otherwise it will get charred. Then add onion. Fry it. Then add tomatoes. Let it become softened. Add a pinch of turmeric powder (for color) and salt to taste. Then add chopped carrot and beans. Let it fry for sometime. Add water so that the vegetables have to be cooked. Close the whole mix with lid and allow it to cook. After it is done, add 1 spoon of gram masala/chicken masala powder and mix it thoroughly and cook for ½ minute or so. Garnish with Coriander leaves. This you mix with already cooked plain rice. It taste like vegetable biriyani. A quick preparation for lunch.

Then prepare some cucumber, tomato, carrot salad. For children’s snack box too.. same salads.

Then ran back to wake my children, making them brush, bath..me washing cloths, bath…making them to eat breakfast, helping kids with their uniform, shoes..apppa…run run..They went late to school by 10 mintues.

Run, Run…to office….

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Total System breakdown!%$*($#)

Last week, My body parts started breaking down one by one. Sign of becoming old, haha. As you can see in my previous post, it all started with tooth ache. It went on for 2 days. Then there was a travel to Bangalore. Because of the change of place, I ended up in tonsillitis. It was going on for 2-3 days. Driven by heights of uncomfortableness, I almost hunted the whole place for atleast a general physician. She recommended some medicines. But it did not respond. Yesterday, around 3:45 pm or so, I was in the office. Suddenly, I experienced sudden pain in both my ears. I thought it could be because of the AC. I sit right below the inlet duct. I frantically trying to get some cotton to plug my ears. I begged in my neighborhood. To my bad luck, no one was having it. I thought to have a hot coffee thinking that it will ease my ear pain. No correlation, but still. Nope!!! The pain continued. I decided to leave office and meet some ENT ASAP. I called up my hubby to inform him. He gave me some clinic address which was close to our residence. I shut down the machine, took the lift. I started walking closing both my ears. The pain has deepened. For me to take autorickshaw, I have to walk almost 5 mintues to the entrance gate. I decided to check out the cab facilities at my office itself. I approached the transport vehicle. Some cab drivers were lazing around. I narrated my story. They wanted me to talk to the administration guys directly. I called from my mobile narrating my pain. Immediately my request was approved. Thank God. The driver rode the car so fast to the clinic I mentioned. Good that there was not much traffic. By this time, my pain intensified. I got the feeling that my inner ears is going to burst out.

I finally entered the hospital. The receptionist told that the doctor will be available from 5:00pm. I occupied a seat far away from AC and ceiling fan. I closed both my ears with my hand tightly. In the mean time, I called my hubby to inform that I’ve reached the hospital and requested him to come immediately as I could not tolerate the pain. He promised that he will join ASAP. I was going on seeing the wall clock. Time is not moving at all. My pain is aggravating. Both my ears is making lot of sound just like the sound that comes out from room air conditioner outside the room…”Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr”. Both the ears were vying with each other, which ear is throwing lot of noise, sort of competition. The time in the wall clock crossed 5:05 pm . Every minute moved at snail pace. I asked the receptionist once again whether the doctor will come or not. He said he is on his way. He asked me to go to first floor where the doctor does his consultation. I carried both my handbag and lunch box and started climbing the stairs to the first floor. I saw one more person waiting for the doctor. I walked up to the attender and informed him that I had been here from 4:45pm. Hence when the doctor comes, please allow me to see him first. He agreed to that. I tried reaching my hubby too. He didn’t take the call. He must be driving. Around 5:15pm, my hubby came in. As soon as I saw him, I broke down. Tears simply started dripping from both my eyes and started crying like a small kid…just like my children. My hubby asked me “Romba vallikutha!!!”. Before he could complete his enquiry, I was nodding my head profusely holding both my ear closed. He was enquiring the doctor arrival to the attender. After waiting for 10 more minutes, the doctor finally reached. Thank God. I was immediately called into the room. I was still crying. As soon as he saw me , he told me” This is the best example of uncared cold”. He examined my throat, ears. Prescribed some 6 tablets and asked me take immediately and have some food after reaching home. He added that it will take 2 hours for the pain to subside. 2 HOURS more!!!! Took the medicines and left the hospital. I was crying all the way on the road too without heeding the presence of other people around me. My hubby was holding my hand all the while. So kind of him to have taken care of me. Thank god he was in station. His presence meant a lot to me.

While driving back home, the medicine has started doing its action. I got the sensation as if a live insect entered the ear and trying to escape. The inner tissue of the ears started shaking or shrinking or whatever. It was “Grrrrrrrrrr….Gmmmmmmmm..Grrrr”. I was pressing my hand on the ears continuing my crying ..now loudly”. When I reached the front gate of my house, my children were very happy to see us early back from office. I thought of controlling my tear. I tried to wipe my tears off and put a smiling face. But the pain was so steep that more I wanted to control, the more kid in me became dominant. My daughter was the first to realize it. Her face changed from cheerfulness to questioning enquiring look. I smiled at her tackling my tears and pulled her cheek and gave a big kiss. My son was also looking at me and asking me “why tears in your eyes?”. I was happy to be back with my children. I'm still not dead. Alive very much.

A small digression. I had been to USA 4 times (short trip of 1 and ½ months – longest was for 3 months) and usually it was during the months of November, December, Jan, feb, March which is the so called winter season. I had been to Portland, Maine during Jan, feb, March. It will be usually snowing these months. When I was there they had the worst snowfall. People say that they didn’t have such amount of snow in last 20 years!!! It was too cold and heavy. Most of the days, I had to “work from home” as commuting will be an issue. As usual developed tonsillitis and ran high fever. No one was there to help me. Locked inside my suite all by myself. I prepared some rice porridge and had it for 2 days!!! I always prayed to God then that please don’t take my life in this alien land (US). You take my life when I get back to India (my own land). You cannot call it patriotic. The sense of loneliness in a strange land with strange people with no one around you to take care. It drived me or anyone crazy.

I got the same kind of feeling yesterday when I was alone in the hospital waiting for the doctor. The pain in both ears ran so worse that I got this feeling that let my husband come and then let worse happen to me. On the way back home, I was thinking about my kids. I want to see them and pass off. Crazy me. Thinking too much beyond limit.

I throwed my office bag and lunch bag in my bedroom and tried to lie down. I was trying to find a comfortable posture but to in vain. I was rolling from one side to another. Lied face down then turned to the front. On seeing this, my daughter sympathetically asked me “Paining?”. Her questions smoothened me mentally. My husband diverted their attention by taking them away to play. My husband offered me a hot cup of tea and 2 slice of bread. I forced myself to eat inspite of the pain I felt while swallowing. In the mean time, my ears started poping out and poping in. Ah! The bluck..bluck…sound of the ear drum…UUUUhhhh!!!! I tried to sleep. I closed my eyes and tried to think something nice. My ears continued contesting for its loudness. “Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu”…..Around 7 pm or so, I fell into a short catnap. I heard vaguely my MIL calling me to have my dinner. It was 8’o clock. By this time, the pain subsided profusely. My hubby had taken the children to the doctor as they also had severe cold and cough. I was having couple of dosa’s when my children came back. My Son ran towards me and inserted his finger into my ears and asked me “Your ear pain is gone?”. I was nodding my head like my son. “yes, yes”. So nice of him.

The dose of the medicine was so high that I slept like log the whole night. Today I’m off to office with energy as usual……..

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Enna kodumaiya edu!!!

Have you underwent the pain of waiting endlessly to get your salwar/chudithaar stitched from tailor? I believe many of us have faced “N” number of times. It is really a pain at the backside. This always happens to me. I change the tailor after a big fight.

I don’t usually fight or shout bad words at others especially to people outside the family. I play dignified to outsiders. I was always a silent observer and always at the receiving end. I don’t know whether it is heights of tolerance breakdown or whatever after that “X” number of hilarious experience. Looks like I’ve graduated to the next level after years of silent receiver. The giver.

I’ve met different type of tailors to give a background. I’ve a dedicated tailor near my home. He is not professional but still his stitching fits my taste. So I just put up with him even if I’ve to wait days to get my stitched chudi’s back. I felt it is worth it. So resilient to that silent receiver mode. I mostly accompany my hubby to this tailor always. He hates him. Once he tried to give him lecture on “Time management” and “future business continuity techniques by satisfying the customer by sticking to the time frame” and things like that. He tries to put his piece of gray cells onto his dumb-stone-mud head. This tailor no matter what, he works with his own non-procedural, no-timeframe deliveries. You just can’t change some people in this world. They are born to be like that. God’s Creation! Certain days my hubby loses his patience that he gives this tailor mouthful of flith. I’ll be like scratching my head….between the devil and the deep sea. But still given an opportunity, I’ll give it to this guy because of his perfect stitching. I’ll give him 90/100 marks.

Then I’ve met some tailors who learns stitching using my dress material. I remember the baby pink chicken worked chudithaar material which my hubby gifted for my birthday!!! I loved the material so much. I gave it to this stupid lady who messed the whole material. I fought with her. She agreed to get a new material, the same color, the same type and stitch it for me. She got a low quality stuff. After finishing, another round of fight happened to give my duppatta of the messed up chudithaar to her. I denied it as it had a sentimental emotion attached to it – my hubby’s gift . She refused to give the duppatta of the chudithaar she has bought. Till date I wear that chudithaar with my original duppatta!!!

There are other set of tailors who starts stitching after giving lot of reminders. Or rather start stitching on the delivery date!!!

Having shifted to a new location, I was hunting for some decent tailors who stitches well and delivers somewhat on time. Nobody is perfect you know. I finally found one who was not so costly too. One have heard of “Outsourcing” in Industries!!! Even in tailoring world too, this happens too. This lady outsource the chudithaar stitching to some guy who lives in some other part of the place. OK! Not a problem as long as he stitches properly. The first chudithaar he gave it on time. The standard technique any tailor follows to catch a new customer. I gave the next chudithaar. Ah!! the old story started here to. There was a delivery delay. Tolerated some how but the fittings turned out to be a mess. The whole ordeal started there. I returned back to the lady stating that the shoulder fitting has not come out properly hence require alteration. The guy to whom this is outsourced also agreed to this alteration. I was calling every second day to check the status of the alteration work to this lady. Fed up with the response, I got this guy’s mobile number and started calling him directly. At one point of time, he stopped taking my calls. Got really pissed off. But I had no option but to patiently wait, I thought. This ladies shop is on the way to the supermarket. So I used to drop personally to enquire too. One day, I met this guy tailor at this shop and he goes very coolly that the alteration work is done and I can collect it the next day positively. I was like relieved ..oh! finally I’m going to get it.

I was eagerly waiting to see the final output after alteration. Had he messed up further. Thought I would call and go all the way. I called up the lady. She says that he has not even started. My BP raised like the mercury that rises in that SPHYGMOMONAMETER.I have reached that tolerance peak, the big hump in any curve. That is it. I was shouting over the phone. I went on and on. “How can you run a business like this? No customer will come to you. I asked her to return the material cost. It took me 5oo bucks to get the material. Or rather the stitching cost. Because I need to give to some other tailor and cannot put any more extra paise on this stitching expense. I told her finally I want my stitched chudithaar back altered or unaltered the very next day. It dawned on me during the conversation that the lady is helpless as she is not the person who is doing the alteration. That is it. I was totally simmering with anger and firing the lady that I almost forgot the surrounding. Little did I realized that three pair of eyes was totally directed on me. My kids and husband. The conversation was so enthralling that I was giving my whole energy and knowledge into it. At the end of the vocabulary diarrhea, I felt so satisfying as if I’ve talked some sense and made sense to the person at the other end.

I left for Bangalore the next day to celebrate my niece birthday. I had nice gala time with my brother and my dear Amma and my nephew who has completed 1 year. Of course helped my SIL here and there. She prepared Soya cutlet and Veg roll and Semiya payasam on the birthday. Delicious and yummy.

Returned back to Chennai on Sunday night. Slept like log and off to work on Monday morning. The change in climate (Chennai to Bangalore and back to Chennai within 3 days) as usual made me sick. My tonsillitis hurt me. I was unable to swallow or have hot food too. Decided to consult the doctor after office in the evening. Enroute, I thought I’ll drop at the tailoring shop. There the whole bunch of traitor were sitting. The lady tailor who “outsourced” , the guy tailor - the so-called “Vendor”, the lady tailor’s husband, ”the business partner”. I , the “end-user” stood before them without speaking a word. The business partner recognized me and gave me a smile. He called his wife and said “Sumy madam’s dress…”. The lady tailor didn’t say a word. She got hurt definitely from what I read from her face. The guy tailor also looked at me shamelessly. I talked to the business partner about the whole thing and told him to comment on the situation as a third person. He said it was logical of me to have shouted and accepted that it was their fault. I walked out of the shop with relaxed and relieved mind that the whole issue got over with a matured exchange of sense. Both the parties have got hurt and lost a business of continued relationship. Anyways, life goes on at the end.

Yesterday I got a dress stitched but he has made a mess of the neck. It ‘s too low and I’ve to cover it with my dupatta!!!!!

My nightmare continues……………..

Monday, March 9, 2009

Elephants..A fascinating animal

I'm fascinated by this massive very brainy animal..The "Elephant"...Not only me, my son too....

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Pain of tooth scaling!!!!

Yesterday morning, I got out of my bed with a swelling inside my mouth and I felt some pain near my last teeth . I thought my wisdom teeth is coming out that too now at this age!!! I asked my hubby to have a look at the situation by handling him a torch. He gave a scan and said nothing. Some reddish color at the end. Could be that I’ve chewed my inner tissues!!! Ah. I ignored the pain for that moment to prepare for my usual routine work with my children……….

At office, I started running temperature and to add to the fire, I had this running nose too. The AC as usual was blasting peak. It still aggravated my sinus. Oh! The more I wanted to be back home in the evening to visit a dentist, the more it was getting delayed. I had a town hall meeting to attend and got over only at 5:30pm. I took an auto back home. Stopped at the dentist. Lucky me, I happened to the first patient. I was asked to wait at the reception area. The whole place was pleasant with lots of paintings hanging on the wall with gloomy lights. It gave me a feeling that I was sitting on a hotel lobby.

The lady Dentist came out and ushered me in and offered me to occupy that dentist chair that typically one can see in any hospital. The room was painted in fluorescent green color. The sofa, the cushion of dentist chair and other furniture was in orange color. I got the feeling as though I have entered a kid’s room. So colorful. Cool. She offered me to occupy that dentist chair typically one can see in any hospital. She told me to rinse the mouth. Here we go. She started putting all her equipments. The mirror and the biceps. She gave a sound..AAhh!! I was happy that she found out the problem. She said that I had been chewing my inner cheek muscles . Hence it developed into a small wound type of thing. The pus has got accumulated and hence it pains when I continue to chew!!! Oh!!! It runs in the family…I’m reminded of a similar situation which my brother faced last month. He had also faced the same problem and he had to do a small surgery type of thing to cut open the wound to remove all the pus and dead cells using a local anesthesia. My father (he is no more. He left us alone in the world on Dec 11th, 2001) also had same experience more often than not. Definitely, it is The Family Thing!!!

Then she called up for her assistant for further help. He used a tube which throw both water and air in high speed. I believe it helps in washing away the dirt. The dentist was trying to remove the dirt in the last tooth. She said that she will prescribe some drug and asked me to wait at the reception. Oh! I was thinking that there might be some cavity and thing like that..Appa escape!

She came after some time and told me that this drug does not help me unless I do scaling of the teeth (meaning cleaning) because the dirt in my teeth will further worsen the wound. The infection is too high. She scared me saying that it might lead to some pre-malign blah blah..What!?! Scaring me..She read my thought..She continues stating “It does not mean that!!! It will be good…blah blah..”..I was also thinking why not clean oops scale my teeth. OK! Here I go once again back to the dentist room.

Ah! The ordeal starts now. I suffer from this hypersentivity too. It was like terrible when she started cleaning with the assistant simultaneously using the air gusher type of a tube. I was closing my eyes. Hand clutched to the seat. My legs shooted to the sky when the pain was pricking. The dentist was using this machine (c-device scaler, that is what the dentist told me) to scrap off the dirt right at the root of each teeth. I raised my hand to stop the process. My mouth was filled with water. I spat it out. Blood..oh no!! I quickly rinsed with water. And once again…EEEhhhhh!!! Ppppppppssssssssssssssssh!!! Isssssssshhhhhhhh!!! All sounds..it was as though in a Yani Concert!!! The different pitch ..high low….I was wishing to get over with this process….It took 15 mintues to accomplish this take..Anyways, I’m happy that at the end of the whole pain, it is worth the effort with shining teeth and bright smile.

Sumy Sunil

Koolluruthada Sami…

People working inside Centralized Air Conditioning (CAC) buildings would have, is and will be suffering from this heavy cold, not so cold, cold, warm, hot temperature’s at different pockets in the same floor!!! Ah! I sit right under the inlet (so the so called cold spot) part of the whole complicated system. I’m getting this marooned-to-antartica kind of feeling, freezing. I remember the comedy in of the tamil movie, the famous Koundamani says something like this that the kidney itself will exchange its position…One can really relish the wit when you hear it in tamil itself..It goes something like this, I believe “Koolluruthaanga mudialla da sami..kidney kudu edamaridum pollarikkudo..samiyoo”. Forgive me for my poor tamil knowledge. Jokes apart. I wonder whether any kind enough person who have called the concerned mechanic or AC supervisor or whatever the heck his designation is!!! To my knowledge, nope, I believe. We, Indians, complain and rattle hours together to the core but hardly few people take that first decisive step to lead the whole team. To make matter worse, we like delegation. We say “you ask, you ask”.

I thought “vellakki avathu” (no point in waiting). Dialled my receptionist. Got the number of the AC guy. There the comedy starts. I talked in plain tamil “Ennaga AC high-a-irrukku…Koncham korachha nalla irrukkum…” [ What Sir, AC is high. It will be nice if you reduce it]. He asked about my location, seat number and said he will reduce it. Then it dawned on me, I continued the conversation.. Let me ask me at what temperature he has set it currently? He goes “22 Degree”. What!!! What the heck is going on? “Epppa…Sir, please reduce it further”. He goes “ I can reduce it to 24 degree or I will switch off for 5 mint”. What difference does it make? I told him “ Switch it off for 20 mint”…I heard a giggle from the other side. ”Not possible..it will take some time for re-cooling”. I finally told him “Boss, you please do something about it”. He had accepted it. This is going on for past 1 week. It was narrating the whole episode to my hubby while driving to office. He silently listened and started with knowledge transfer. He says in the whole system, there are inlets/ducts and outlets. When they switch on the AC, the cool air enters the building through the inlets and the warm air which were in the closed room is sucked out by the outlet/ return-air (hot spots). This hot air is circulated through some coolers outside the building and is pumped in back to the room as cool air/dehumidified air through the inlet duct. He adds further to the story that when the AC guy has said 22 degrees my hubby asks me whether the temperature of Conditioner is set at 22 degrees or the temperature at the inlet duct is 22 degree or temperature at the desk!?!. I was totally lost with this whole funda of AC working!!! I laughed out which is the last thing I can do. Hats off to the invention.

Sumy Sunil

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Calvin and Hobbes - Comic Strips

Have you met anybody in this world who does things over and over again consistently, daily to the Tee? Nope, I believe. Me too. Welcome to our world… Enlightened by some health conscious morning walkers, I go for walking getting up early in the morning waking up at the stroke of the alarm. It goes on for couple of weeks. And for some reasons, if the habit breaks. End to that practice. Then getting back to the swing is bit difficult unless you have that self motivation alive in you. My hubby says that it takes 21 days for a human beings to get a habit into our system.

I used to read a good number of books in my school days , thanks to my school library. But now I hardly read anything, novels or anything for that matter. Reason being hardly any time. I look for some easy reasons to get out from trouble as others perhaps do!!! A few years back, I used to get forwards from one of my team member turned friend who has subscribed to some comic sites. I chanced to read couple of Calvin & Hobbes comic strips and got in love it. I used to laugh reading it along with my hubby who also joins me enjoying it. Then somehow, life took a different stride and somehow lost touch with those C & H hilarious strips. Recently I had a chance to read it. It is awfully great. But you know what, when I read now, I get a different feel and meaning to it . After a mother of 2 kids, these strips makes me to associate with my son. He too personifies more of Calvin. With some animals, mostly dinosaurs , or A bunny rabbit in his hand. I believe that he does not talk to it. He sleeps hugging it and if he doesn’t finds it beside him when I wakes up, one can see slight cry with tears tripping down like waterfall without any sound. One wonders, why, what happened!!! The big reason would be that his toy is missing from his hand. oh ho!!! I wonder the children’s psychology and their thought process and what goes on their mind. But he watches his toy car’s wheels and bumpers continuously for 5-10 mintues. Might be doing some research. Or whatever why the wheels are only round shape not triangle. Wonder their inquisitiveness. My hubby says he has some problem. It’s hightime we show him to the doctor.

I try to post some of the Calvin & Hobbes comic strips I’ve saved in my desktop. Maybe change it daily if it is possible too….

The strips that are featured in this section are picked up from various sites. Hence all the courtesy and copyrights are dedicated to them only. I’m just using it in my blog since I happened to be an ardent fan of C&H. I’m extremely sorry if any of you think that I've stolen these precious pieces. Please note that the copyright of these comic strips remains with Universal Press Syndicate and the author Bill Watterson.

Monday, March 2, 2009

To my Brother, with love

My brother!! What shall I say? A companion, A friend, A guide, A philosopher, A critic,.......all in one person…my brother.

I remember some memorable moments that I had spend years back with him probably one of few moments which I relish even now when I get reminded of that. Those where the black and white days last century…should be in the year 1983-84, I believe. We usually walk to School …almost say 2-3 km roughly….pretty long walk especially in the morning half past eight under the hot sun in Trichy. He usually carries my backpack too along with his with loads of textbooks and notebooks. My job is to carry the tiffinbox. We used to enjoy our trails watching butterflies. I’m more interested in plucking flowers and looking for tomato plants which I carry it back home and plant it in my garden. I water it. Hopefully one or two stays.

This so called day, we were in heights of play mood that one of the tiffinbox which happened to be mine rolled out off my hand and the food spilled all over the whole road. I started crying. My brother pacified me and offered me some of his food. We reached the school. I was sad the whole day in the class thinking of my fault. My brother usually have his lunch with his classmates under the tree. I thought I will check out. He gave a big smile and gave me a pose that he is not hungry. Now I realize that he lied to me that he was not feeling hungry!!!

He had been a turning point in my life.....

After having completed my Bachelor’s in Chemistry and being the first rank holder in my college (SRC, Trichy), I wanted to pursue my Post graduation in Chemistry especially from Bharathidasan University itself. My aim was to become a Chemistry Professor in college giving lectures and finally getting a doctorate, the Ph.D. My brother changed my whole career plan. He brainwashed me. NO NO you should do Masters in Computer application which is like most talked about course now. All possible guidance was given to me. I was not that keen in going to the field of computers. He went all the way to get the application form, get it filled and sent across. I wrote my entrance test for the sake of my brother to satisfy his dream for me. In the mean time, I had already got admission for my Master’s in Chemistry in the University!!! I was totally happy that I’ve accomplished what I dreamt and was totally dedicated to all the lab sessions and theory classes.

My Brother was literally going to NIT to check out the results whether his sister’s name is displayed in the selection list. I was totally unaware or rather I forgot about this entrance exam too. One fine evening, I was sipping my hot tea after coming back from my college along with my parents. My brother came back in his cycle with big smile on his face. He was so happy that he came near me and gave a big kiss on my cheek. ummmaaaa. I still could feel the squeeze on my cheek muscles with his brotherly affection on me. I was unable to quiet comprehend the situation until he declared the news that I got selected for MCA course. Oh no!!! My dreams shattered like a glass slipping out of the hand. I had to quit my M. Sc chemistry course and got admitted to MCA. The 1st semester was little difficult to understand the concepts and it became cool later. Even though he has changed my career path which I had in mind, he has put me onto definitely an enriching and prosperous career path and I owe him a lot.

My sweet father and brother had always been my bodyguard to escort me whenever I get back from my special class or math’s tuition class late in the evening or my evening class of MCA which gets over by 8:15 pm. Lucky me, always. I was like princess of my home.

Please don’t get the idea that he had always been nice too me. We were like deadly enemies and thickest friend in a second as any other brother and sister.

He hates me for many things. I don’t keep my shelves especially books neatly. He is more of a spotlessness sensed guy. Once I remember he got so angry with me seeing the way I’ve kept my books piled up clumsily on the reading table that he throwed my biology records outside the front gate!!! I was running behind him to take it away immediately. Anyways, I believe I have come far better than my childhood days. Now my hubby is putting up with my left out clumsiness!!! He will have tons to talk about my cleanliness ;-) ;-)

I can go on and on…….My brother is like…….


Sunday, March 1, 2009

Today's Fiasco...

I hate myself for many reasons, one being my reactions to my son’s prangs or naughtiness or my son’s easy going. Today morning my daughter woke up with tooth pain. Welcome signal for a new teeth.. She is growing up..wonder how time flies..I still feel they are new born babies..Of course, they are..But I lose track of this thought thinking they are old enough to have take care certain routines by themselves. Yes they do at times. I wish and hope that they do it all times. My morning hours in making my children preparing them to go to school, preparing lunchbox for my hubby and myself, my washing..ah endless list of task goes beserk if there is a slight deviation in the routine…and today happened to be one such day!!!

My daughter wants to have her porridge as she is having tooth ache. There I’m off to prepare that before offering breakfast for my son. He was in his usual mood keeping himself occupied with drawing (he is an excellent artist in drawing his favourite characters, Tom and Jerry and Dinosaurs and Cars and "My father and me"). I informed him to take his breakfast all by himself as amma (mother..me) is busy today. After having prepared porridge and made it cool, I found to my dismay that my son has not even had a single morsel of food. I tried feeding him but he does not have any mood to have food. I, on the other hand, is like a typical mother and may me one step ahead of all mothers that “breakfast is a must and should not skipped no matter what”. It really got out of my mind and started shouting at him. He is kind of emotional person and started crying. In between I was persuading my daughter to eat something as she is running temperature too. The whole situation was out of control.

I told my son to forget his breakfast and asked him to wear his uniform as it was getting late to go to school. As usual he was in this world of drawing..Once again blah blah..and once again started crying. I helped him to wear the shirt and asked him to wear the pants all by himself. He was still crying giving a “amma is not caring me kind of look” at me. This made me to hate myself. I don’t have the time to be sympathetic with him. Still his face lingers in my mind. I hate myself for this. I wish he understands me. But he is only a child. Hope he understands me one day.

I was still simmering with anger because my effort in making my son have his breakfast was not fulfilled like an “unsatisfied soul”. I was standing there searching for what should I wear for the office…My son came running and asked me “ I want my new socks, amma”. The innocent voice of him was like piercing a dagger into my heart. This made me feel really ashamed of myself. I could hardly look into his eyes. I gave his pair of socks. My hubby helped him to wear his shoes and off he went to school with my hubby alone. I didn’t said “bye” to him. I hate myself for this.

My hubby went to their class room to inform their class teacher that daughter is having a tooth pain and hence she is on leave for the day. In the mean time, my son was trying to occupying a chair, other children were pushing him refraining to sit in the chair (My hubby told this while we were on the way to office). I could the feel the pain that he would be undergoing that moment. Amma shouted at me at home and at school, my classmates are not allowing me to sit in a chair. He would have got really hurt.

After dropping from school, my hubby and myself were off to office. My daughter was busy scribbling in her notebook. I was looking for her through the gate to say “bye”. She didn’t come out to see us off.

My hubby was in his usual parental and logical talk with me all the way to my office. I was listening all the while with my son’s face photographed deep in my mind. It seems my son was saying to his grandparents that why parents of other children are coming to school to pick the other children? My heart broke. I hate myself for this.
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